The Land Of K.: February 2015

From what he remembered he had always been alone. Nights and winters were cold, summers and springs were warm, water was fresh, berries he picked were ripe and tasty. He would sleep outside on tree benches in the summer and hide in caves in the winter. There was no particular day he remembered on which he was born or a particular moment he started to be conscious of his being. All his past days blended into one. He remembered that he was hungry and he ate everything he found on his way. He remembered that one day he fell sick and threw up, and afterwards he learned not to eat the things he ate that day anymore. He started to recognize what was good for him and what could kill him easily, if he overdosed. When his smell started to be unbearable, he would wash himself in the river. When he was tired, he would sleep on the ground and cover his body with leaves, whenever it was cold.

He never cried. He wasn't scared of anything. Ever. He saw people killed in the forest, he saw little ones dying of hunger, but if they weren't suppose to survive, there was nothing to cry about for long. He had scars and bruises but years outside made his skin hard and his bones thick.

At some point of his life he met a group of children similar to him. They were wandering around in a pack and they found him a friendly and useful boy to be around, worth both their time and attention. From then on he would be running along with them through fields, forests and bushes, far away from the unfriendly civilization of the towns and cities of K., and even further away from N.. It was advantageous for him as the children had mastered the language. Two boys still remembered it after years they spent living with adults and could speak and teach each other the difficult art of communication. They called him Adam.

So he was Adam and he had company. All of the children were as hopeless and as fearless as he had been all his life but the difference was that they were stronger in a group than as individuals. That is why they stayed together. Sometimes everybody did the same thing: looked for food, built a shelter, cared about the usual occupations; sometimes they divided their chores and some of them were taking care of picking berries, others - of making fire, which made things easier and faster.

One time they found a dead man and used his skin to make bags and coats. They took his teeth and made necklaces for themselves to make them look prettier. Dead man's meat was too stale so they didn't eat him. And even if it hadn't been stale, they wouldn't resort to such a thing. They had plenty of berries and mushrooms. Besides, once in a while they could even catch a rat and cook it over the fire. Adam would eat flies and mice, and sometimes, even though very very rarely they would find a fish. They ate all of it, with the head, eyes, and tail. Bones, which were left, they used for jewelry as they did with the dead man's teeth. Every source of food was valuable and there was no place for wasting it.

One day Adam had a fight with one of the group members about the shelter. Adam wanted to build it from sticks, the other boy decided to use leaves. They couldn't agree on anything. The group knew the other boy longer than Adam, so it was Adam who was made to leave. They didn't cry for him as they didn't cry at all. Adam grew sad and lonely in his heart but not even one tear dropped from his eyes on that occasion.

And again he was alone. He would wander for days along the forest and talk to himself because there was no one else to talk to. He would sleep soundly on the ground, unafraid of anything or anyone. Boys had said that centuries ago there were big beasts in the forest, beasts which could catch you, bite you and eat you but as no one was really afraid of rats, which, if anything, you were most likely to come across, you could sleep soundly wherever you went.

One day he saw a bird in the sky and waved to him but the bird didn't wave back. It was the only bird he saw in his life. The first lonely winged being appeared before his eyes out of nowhere and he was amazed. He didn't know that there were beings which could fly over the ground and do it in such a graceful and beautiful way.

Adam was growing up. He noticed hair on his chest and face, on his penis and testicles. His legs got really hairy, even his back did so, and, even though, he could not see it, he definitely could feel it when he was washing himself in the river. He didn't like the hair. The fact that he was getting bigger and stronger made him proud and more self-confident as he managed to be alive for such a long time. He enjoyed the timbre of his changed voice and the fact that his chest grew larger and his arms were more muscular. Still he didn't like the hair. One day he found a sharp piece of stone and shaved himself all over, leaving only a few scars, this time, self-inflicted. But the hair grew back, so he decided to shave it only on special occasions, and on ordinary days he resorted to staying his natural self.

One day, after weeks of walking and sleeping, the forest ended and he walked into a field. It was summer and the wheat grew up high, bordering fields with corn and barley. He saw a big tree and spent the night there. Only when he woke up at the first rays of sunlight, he noticed a house. He had seen such houses earlier at the other end of the forest. There were usually many people in them, sleeping on the floors, eating from the same bowls, quarreling and fighting over women. He didn't want to go in there as at that time he was glad that he could live alone. He wasn't afraid of people. He was only careful, as human nature could be tricky and rarely straightforward, whether it was about good or evil. Adam liked to observe those living in the houses and quickly picked up their habits. He even learned how to cook since other children were made to do this in the yards and gardens, probably out of security reasons, and unintentionally they showed him how it was done. They put stoves outside, boiled stews, grilled pepper and fried potatoes. Adam would sometimes eat what they had left, or he took some food ingredients they left outside and prepared the meal over the fire.

And now he encountered this house. Adam hid behind a tree. Suddenly, a boy came out. A fair-haired, tall, skinny boy, wearing trousers and a white shirt, with a hat on his head. Adam looked at him with interest. He was a beautiful boy, far more beautiful than all those boys who were in his former group. And from the moment he saw him, he started watching him with greed and he would come closer to see what he was doing. He had long hair and very nice teeth. His unbuttoned shirt rolled and showed his stomach, protruding from his trousers. Adam felt a strong pang of desire in the lower part of his belly. His penis hardened and he started breathing sharply and couldn't take his eyes off the boy, growing more and more greedy. He decided to stay there for longer, look at him, and get to know him better.

The boy walked out of the house about once a day, hung out his clothes, played in the garden, ate his meal. Once he left a half full bowl of some dish made from corn and potatoes and came back inside. Adam run quickly and ate what was left and ran back quickly, retreating to his forest hideout.

The next day the boy walked out again and looked at his finished meal. He noticed that something was wrong. From that time he would leave something to eat on the same spot every day, and Adam didn't have to run through the forest in search of food. He was even more attached to the house. And to the boy.

'I see you,' the boy said when he was eating beans from the bowl, and Adam wanted to hide away.

'Don't run. You come here everyday. What's your name?'

Adam didn't answer. He was afraid of speaking in front of a stranger. In fact he was afraid of speaking at all.

'Come back tomorrow.'

Adam nodded and ran to the fields, not turning back.

The following day he would find a pair of shoes, a shirt and a pair of trousers next to the bowl of rice, and he would dress just like the boy did, as imitation is the greatest flattery, and he wanted the boy to feel flattered.

He came there everyday, but the boy stopped coming out, and Adam was worried he was dead.

Adam, on the other hand, kept coming back to the house, but walking inside and out of it was an old man in a gray coat. Sometimes another twenty or so other elderly men rushed inside and stayed there for hours and Adam didn't like the feeling in his stomach at the thought that so many men were spending time with that boy and he was deprived of such a pleasure. Or at the thought that they might have killed his young favorite and disposed of his body. Or used it as his mates did with that dead man found in the forest.

He decided to stay in his hideout for some time and wait until the elderly stopped coming in. He didn't like to be seen by so many people.

It was after a week of his hiding in the forest, perhaps not hiding but staying as usual with his own means and own methods of obtaining food, of being one with nature, when he saw the boy coming to him. Adam was glad to see him again and jumped off the tree.

'I thought you're dead,' he said honestly 'I thought they killed you, the old people.'

The boy laughed. Adam was surprised that he spoke out of his own initiative, not being asked to, and not being made to. He usually spoke to himself, not to forget the art of speech.

'No, they didn't kill me. They're not here to kill. Are you hungry? I brought you some food.'

Adam wasn't as hungry as sometimes he was in his life but he didn't think twice about the food the boy brought him. He ate it quickly and sat, beaming, content with himself, with his stomach full, and happy that he could see the boy again.

'Do you like swimming?' he asked, pleased that it was the boy who came to his place, if you could call it his place, and not the other way round.

'Swimming where?'

Adam grabbed the boy's hand and took him to the riverside. Then he undressed him and noticed that the boy wasn't really a boy.

'You're a girl' he gasped, chuckling under his nose.

The girl didn't get the joke.

'I am. I have always been a girl as a matter of fact. Why did you think differently?'

Adam pointed at her clothes. The girl nodded.

'What's your name?'

'Gemma. And yours?'

'Adam'.

So they introduced. And saw themselves naked for the first time. And it actually made no difference for them. For Adam not even the slightest. And then they swam in the river as kids, whom they were, playfully and happily, until the sun set and Gemma had to come back home.

They would do that for the rest of the summer, cheerfully and happily, glad that they had each other and they didn't have to compete neither for space nor for food.

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6

09:58

Gemma was looking with unhidden interest at a queue formed in front of a central building. All men were invited to come and the cause of their interest was two-fold. One important venture was to equip as many people as possible with condoms, the other was to give them a chance to trade shoes, as no one was going to resign from an opportunity to get a pair of shoes even a bit less torn than the ones they were currently wearing. And shoes in K. were given once in a lifetime. Those who had them stolen, used some rubber they could find, and those who couldn't find any rubber decided to go out only in summer when you could walk around barefoot.
All older men from the meeting got the instructions and taught every man how to properly use a condom, and once they were instructed and persuaded that this action would make them more manly and strong, they were let to try on shoes. Melquiades for months was considering what would be so attractive to men, to make them arrive since women and food were in abundance. He contacted the consulate via mail and asked him to buy as many second-hand shoes as he could for the money obtained from the selling of some of Melquiades foreign property, and to ship them in the same manner as four years ago he shipped Melquiades. One evening they saw a plane in the sky and he and Gemma both run to collect boxes. There were many of them: colorful, laced, stripped, floral; trainers, boots, wellingtons, and others, and even Gemma was impressed because Jacob's modest wardrobe couldn't compete with such a varied and unrecorded collection.

A few days afterward they were ready to distribute them along with simple instructions on contraception. They also suggested that whenever a condom was used or torn, or there was even a small hole in it, they should go to one of the elderly men and ask for another one. Melquiades knew that this wouldn't solve the problem but he needed at least a couple of years without the population growth and he hoped that those 20 thousand men who were given the means would spread the news to other two hundred million. And since they had rubber, they might use it for the mass production of contraceptives. People in K. were learning quickly and that was what he was hoping for.

All shoes were taken and Melquiades suspected that there were some men who now owned two pairs. Inequality rose attention and that he was hoping for as well. He wanted people to desire condoms as nothing else in the world.

Next month he asked his friends to announce that men and women who liked children were invited to come to the center of the town at noon. Gemma watched from a hideout as he climbed the monument of Jacob to be seen better by those who surrounded him. He decided to speak to all of them.

People noticed that he was so similar to Jacob that they weren't really sure whether it was not Jacob himself, and even people who didn't like children came to the meeting for fear of punishment.

'Is there anyone who has an experience in taking care of a child?'

Dozens raised their hands.

'Is there anyone who is willing to do that on a daily basis?'

Now everyone raised hands.

'Is there anyone sexually attracted to kids?'

Melquiades looked at about ten hands up in the air.

'Well, so I ask groups one and two to stay for a more detailed interview, and the last one to leave, since our legal system is only about to be created. For those you find a child attractive, men and women: you should be ashamed and suppress your cravings.'

They decided to apply the system Maria once invented for younger girls. Every man and a woman were to find children wandering unprotected and collect a group of ten to take care of them in a small room created in the buildings of the previous slaughterhouses. Children were to be given more proper clothes (also from second-hand shops shipped thanks to the work of the consulate), and they were to be made to stay inside or play outside under the supervision of a guardian, rather than do what they wished for all day and all night. They were to be gathered according to their age: thus groups up to five, ten and fifteen were to be created.

It took months to implement the reform: weeks to train the staff, and weeks to form groups and inhabit the slaughterhouse buildings. And even more weeks to make the news spread to other parts of K. and make other regions follow fashion.

Gemma was actively participating in all the reforms and Melquiades saw that the contact with others was beneficial for her. She started to think on her own, became quite independent and thoughtful, giving him more time for himself, which was a relief. But he didn't want to make her too tired. He was saving her for something bigger. There was one big reform he needed to make. And it wasn't an easy task. At that time it was less than an idea.

Once the kids were put to care, they started organizing the school. Children weren't dumb. They were fluent in speech, very fit, they could cook, take care of themselves and they were really able to survive. The elderly decided that they would only teach them how to read and how to perform some sort of basic mathematics, needed for day-to-day life. For a start. The best ones might have an access to a better education in the future, but there wasn't a chance for everybody. They didn't have enough teachers. To be honest, they didn't have any teachers. When the chain of education was formed, the elderly were training teachers how to teach, those newly-trained teachers would teach groups of older students, and those older students were sent to teach younger ones what they already knew. Even a six-year-old could teach something to a five-year-old, and thanks to that cooperation a very basic education system was created. It was enough. Illiteracy might not spread anymore and that left Melquiades content.

Gemma seemed busy. She didn't visit him, and since her education was finished, she was spending a lot of time in her room and didn't disturb him.

The old man had to work on law and health system, which was exhaustive and didn't have much time left for a cozy home life. K. was getting in shape and it took over five years for him to even start to knead this dough from scratch. Gemma's eighteen birthday was approaching, which made Melquiades anxious for another venture.

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5

11:24

Gemma knew that Melquiades was doing something in his room all day and all night when she was either playing or drawing or doing her homework. She didn't know what he was into but while she was reading books of average size, mostly adventure stories about extraordinary kids living in other lands, he was reading books about the size of a stone tomb she used to see in the old cemetery. He was really serious about what he was doing and whenever she disturbed him, she was told off and had to stay in her room for hours without the possibility of going out and playing outside.

'I told you I'm busy,' he said annoyed.

'But I'm bored!' she moaned and lied on the bed 'I will die if I have to just stay inside and read what you make me read. Don't you realize that you're so boring? You're the most boring person I know...'

It wasn't the first time Melquiades was accused of being a bore. The same accusation was given to him years ago by Jacob and confirmed by Jacob's friends, his girlfriends, and girlfriend's friends. The chain of connections was long. Even his father used to think that Melquiades wasn't anything interesting.

'Seriously, girl, why do you want to spend time with me, then? After your classes, you can do whatever you want. I'm not going to make you entertained. You're sixteen. You're almost an adult.'

'But you don't treat me as an adult! All of my friends are allowed to do whatever they want! And you make me stay here and learn and cook, and I'm tired of it. I want a different life for myself. I don't want to be as boring as you! I don't want my life to look like your life! I'd die! No one ever comes here, you're on your own! You're the most lonely person on earth!'

Melquiades raised his eyebrows and smiled. She was getting on his nerves. She was getting older, she grew taller and even prettier, her breasts were full, her hips round, she grew hair on her armpits and vagina, yet she still washed only when he made her. And she still wore Jacob's clothes in various configurations. She never wore a dress. There wasn't any dress in the house, but she could dress somewhat less manly.

And she was so annoying! She screamed at him and threw textbooks days before she got her period, or she started crying at some point and he didn't know what was the reason for her despair. Or when she made a mistake in her schoolwork, she cried and self-criticized and she said she was worthless. And the same day she would cook something so tasteless and, taking into account her bad mood, Melquiades had to eat it and pretend that it tasted great, not to make things worse. Sometimes she went crazy and went running naked around the house and Melquiades didn't know what was worse: running after her in his old age and trying to make her put something on, or seeing her naked, and even though she still was a child, she already looked like a woman.

The most annoying part was when she looked at him over her book with a doubtless desire.

'You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were really ugly. Old and ugly. But now, I see that there's something... special,' she was looking for the right word 'A spark! Yes, definitely a spark! You read so much, and you're so tired and you're so good to me, and... ' and she would bring her chair closer to him, and she would touch his knee and look at him with those huge gray eyes and smile showing her beautiful white teeth. And at that time Melquiades really regretted giving her that book on human sexuality. The food and the heat made it worse. She was looking at him like an animal looking at a prey.

'Look, your friends, as I might observe, live in tiny rooms with thirty other people and, due to overcrowding, they have lice and various other diseases, and they die. From what I've seen your girlfriends are mostly pregnant and believe me, that is the last thing at the age of sixteen that you want to experience. And if you just left me alone when I'm most busy, I might find some time for you later. We could play cards, or chess, or read something aloud...'

'But I'm just bored!' she looked at him with his gray eyes again, and Melquiades knew what was approaching.

'Look. If I made love to you, it would make things far more complicated for us. Besides, from where I come from, it is for me illegal, since you're sixteen, and not eighteen, and as far as ignorant you might be, you definitely know what a word pedophile means. What's more, I'm your guardian and it will ruin your psyche if I exceed the amount of power I have over you. Gemma, you're beautiful, but you have to...

'So you admit! You consider me beautiful!' and within a second, she would take off her clothes 'Don't you want to touch me?'

'To be honest, I want to slap you!' he screamed at her 'I'm tired of it, Gemma, it's disrespectful of you to always think about me in this way, when you know it is out of the question. You're wild!'
And then she would cry like a baby. She would sit on the floor and, naked or clothed, she cried, with her lovely face so ugly and wet. And he would sit next to her and try to comfort her and she would kiss him all over his face and afterward, it would all be fine for a while. She would not seduce him for some time and he would have time to study politics, and the meals they shared in the evening would be perfectly all right. Until another sunny day, when she would just look at him in the same manner and he would wish someone would come and make her satisfied. Not that she wasn't beautiful, but it was difficult for him not to consider the fact that she still drew not very good pictures with the crayons from his childhood and would suck her thumb and pick her nose when she was solving her homework task. And that, considering his age and experience, would seem just ridiculous. He always thought about what would be afterward. He would be afraid to hurt her. Or she might not like it. He knew teens in K. were sexually active a lot earlier than the law thought it is proper, but with Gemma he had reservations.

Melquiades wondered what was the cause of K. pretty liberal behavior. The sexual drive was so intense that it wasn't a surprise that they were reproducing at such a pace. There was not even one case of infertility. It was a fact that once a woman started to be sexually active, she was pregnant at least once a year. And they were so hungry in their desire that even their overcrowded rooms weren't a problem. They would go to fields, forests, and bushes, and having no other entertainment, they would just make love for hours. And two-year-old kids would run around half-naked, plump and nourished with no protection whatsoever. He didn't want Gemma to end up like the girls she used to live with. But he knew that she was going to look for her pleasure somewhere else if he wasn't going to give it to her. She was getting mad, mainly because she had very limited contact with her peers.

'Gemma,' one evening he came into her room and saw her lying on her bed in a white shirt. She was looking at the ceiling with anger, desperation and annoyance 'Are you asleep?'he asked.

'No,' she answered 'I'm bored'

'That's no news. You're always bored.'

'If you just let me go outside for just a little bit longer, I would be entertained...'

'I don't want you to get pregnant.' he said, being honest ' I really need you. I really need you to be perfectly okay until the day you're eighteen and you can be sent to N.'

'Why do you need to send me to N.? You never want to tell me anything. You just hide things. You teach me how to read, but you won't tell me anything of importance!'

'One day you'll know everything. Don't worry. I'll tell you all you need to know. But now I want to talk about something different. Gemma, are you in love with me?'

And from the moment she got red in the face, he knew that it was the case. Then she would cry again. The annoying Gemma came back and he just gave a sigh.

'I don't know' she said ' I just think about you all the time. I want you to touch me. I want you to like me. And you don't want to look at me at all!'

Melquiades laughed. And Gemma cried even more.

'I just want someone to touch me.'

Melquiades nodded in acceptance. He sat next to her. And she would look at him with her eyes and cling to him and started licking his ears and kissing his cheeks. And he would put a hand around her waist and he would touch her thighs and he would put his hand on her breasts, and he would put his hands and fingers between her thighs, and hear her shorter and shorter breaths. He felt strangely entertained doing it, even though he didn't know if it was proper or not, even according to his beliefs. She was definitely less infuriated and she didn't ask for anything more than that. She would sometimes enter his bed without any further comments and just put his hand between her thighs and she would move and just breathe loudly with a faster and faster pace. And they would never talk about it during the day. She was satisfied and he was a little bit sad when at seventeen she stopped coming to him, and even though he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, he was somewhat nostalgic about this period of her life. But she was over her first love, and being over it she didn't need his touch anymore.

Because Gemma accused him of being antisocial, she must have been surprised when one day a man paid him a visit, the next day there were two more and a week after that another twenty. These were the men Melquiades knew before he had gone abroad. Apparently, he had been writing letters to them and inviting them over. He was getting serious and these men were old just like him. They would sit in the dining room by the table and Gemma would have to cook for all of them, which made her angry and tired. Those men didn't cook for her in return. After her duty time was finished, she would sit on one little bench by the window and listen to them talk.

'Another issue,' Melquiades looked at his notes 'Has anyone thought about this sexual drive that makes people behave like animals most of their unoccupied time?'

Elderly men looked at themselves with surprise.

'Gentlemen, even I remember that things were different before I left. And, considering the sexual revolution and people's promiscuity, I believe K. is on a verge of madness. I think we have to find a way to stop that.'

'Stop that?' one man was evidently surprised 'What is there to stop? Women come to us on their own. And we don't take in only girls. We take care of the older ones too. Sometimes we let them even stay in our buildings. And you? And her?' he pointed at Gemma and she couldn't help but make her unattractive facial expression.

She knew that landlords had many women; and because landlords were only elderly men, (no young person could even dream of owning a building), numerous hopeless women with no place to stay were going to them for protection. They had twenty or more girls for themselves, and Gemma knew that it made ordinary men jealous. That's why rapes and kidnappings were so common. And besides, even Gemma stayed with Melquiades and she had no intention of running away. With him, she felt safe.

But Melquiades didn't seem to be fond of the way things were.

'And you think that it is perfectly fine to make use of younger girls, play with them, leave them pregnant with yet another child, with whom they're neither willing, nor able to take care of, and go on with another one, impressed by the fact that your parents left you a two-storey house which you treat like a brothel? Perhaps you should move to N.'

' I think you exaggerate, Melquiades,' said another man 'You haven't been here for a long time. That's true that we take advantage over the homeless, but we weren't the one who made building anything new illegal. That's true that we have significant superiority over young women, but I think you understand our position. They give themselves to us. They are impressed, they think that it will buy them other, maybe better future, but the fault lies somewhere in between. We wouldn't force them to do this.'

Melquiades looked at Gemma who smiled with her silly smile and he wished she would get mature quickly.

'What about contraception?' he said after a short while 'Can we do something about this crazy population growth? That would at least postpone the exiles.'

'What do you mean by contraception?' all men were truly interested.

'I don't know, anything. Rubbers for a start! Aren't there any engineers who would make condoms from rubber?'

'Most of them were taken to N. Jacob considered them useful.'

'All of them?'

'Some of them were... killed. There are still some less professional ones around. We might ask if that's is really important.'

'Friends,' Melquiades said after a short while 'I wish to... We wish to make a living here. We know that this country didn't look like this years ago. You know that we had better future than they will ever have. We should do what is in our strength to make our people more civilized, more organized. More social.'

'More social by giving them a condom?' one older man laughed 'And what made you think they would use it. Who would like to make love in a piece of rubber?'

'I suppose you could set the right example, David ' Melquiades laughed as well 'Tomorrow I would like to meet those engineers. For today's meeting that is about it. Thank you for coming. I know that leading things by the correspondence is quite lengthy, but having no phones and no post office makes things more complicated, especially that those boys who I send with letters cannot be reliable when they fulfill their paid duty with a month's delay. I think that we should meet here at least once a week and decide what can be done.'

All men nodded in agreement. Those who didn't nod didn't come, as Melquiades had sent many more letters, but only thirty-five men appeared. All of them knew that Jacob was his brother. All of them knew what happened but no one wanted to tell him anything of much importance.

The next day he was instructing engineers how to make strong rubber condoms and Gemma was laughing hard when he told her what they are for.

'Gemma if you had a choice, whether you wanted to be pregnant, or not, wouldn't you want to use a piece of rubber? Simple as that.'

'Would you use it with me?' she asked.

'You don't love me anymore, so I think I won't.' he smiled and Gemma shook her shoulders.

A week later she took a bag of condoms to her old place and advertised them to all the girls as if it had been her own invention.

'You can do it safely as long as you make them put it on.' she took a stick and presented to them how they should make use of narrow rubber balloons.

Girls were laughing hard, but all of them took condoms from the bag and, happy that maybe this year they won't be having to carry next unwanted kid, they put them in their pockets.

Gemma was a little bit unhappy that Melquiades hadn't shown her condoms before because they might have been together in another way, but he was right. She didn't need him anymore. She didn't need his touch and she learned how to appease her desire on her own.

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